I was sworn in as a real lawyer by the Supreme Court of Illinois this week.   With about 1500 other people.

Because there were so many of us, they convened the court in a huge basketball arena to get all of us done at once.  If you have never been in full business dress in a basketball arena, you’re really missing out.  The slightly sticky floor of the concession area feels really awesome in heels.

During the ceremony, there were speeches.  They were predictably awful.  One man from a bar association misquoted Robert Frost and then commended us for taking “the road less traveled.”  (Perhaps he missed the earlier speaker who announcing the record number of people getting sworn in that day.)  Another speaker told us that good lawyers are like ducks- smooth on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath.  (Polite laughter.)  A third pointed out someone who had overcome a major disability to become a lawyer. Didn’t tell any of her story, really, just said “look! this person with a disability became a lawyer!” (Polite applause.)  Then we all stood up, raised our right hands, and repeated the oath after the judge (mumbled, really- the sound system wasn’t great and I couldn’t actually hear all the words I was being asked to repeat.)

Then we filed out, scattered to find the table where our last name was in the alphabetical listings, and collected our certificates.  And we are lawyers.  So if you need legal advice, you can, technically, come to me.