The other day I was reading a magazine (Real Simple if you must know, and I don’t care what you say, it is AWESOME,) and I encountered a feature on makeup. Not exactly groundbreaking stuff for a magazine, I realize, but this one had a twist: “show our makeup artist all the stuff you already own and she’ll take it and show you how to create a new look without buying anything new.”
This was kind of a refreshing change- how often does a magazine feature a story that doesn’t subtly (or not so subtly) encourage you to go out and buy new stuff? One of the women featured in the article liked natural looking makeup- I can relate- and she was very pleased with her “after” look, particularly because it was fast/easy. “I could do this on the train on the way to work!” she said.
And I didn’t think much of it, because no one actually DOES their makeup on the train to work, right? That’s just a way of communicating how easy/fast/simple/not involving a lot of specialized equipment the process was, right?
WRONG. This morning, on the train on the way to work, I watched a (young! beautiful! totally not needing this much makeup!) woman go through the most painstaking, involved, multi-stepped makeup routine I have ever seen on someone who wasn’t getting married. It involved: concealer, some sort of “Brightening” product, pressed powder foundation, loose powder blush, bronzer, liquid eyeliner, two colors of eyeshadow, three coats of mascara, two coats of lip gloss, and some sort of loose translucent powder to finish.
Did you catch all that? Especially the part about the loose powder blush? And the liquid eyeliner? ON THE TRAIN, people. If I tried to apply loose powder blush and liquid eyeliner in the comfort and relative stillness of my own bathroom, I would come out looking like a clown- I cannot fathom how one would do it on the train.
This is not the first time I have seen unusual train behavior. Others strange things I have seen people do on the train include:
- Eating soup
- Clipping fingernails (ew)
- Clipping TOENAILS (different time; double ew)
- Yoga
- Putting on tights
- Wearing a chicken costume
- Having sex (unconfirmed; I averted my eyes QUICKLY)
What about you, fellow commuters? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen someone do on the train?
HAHAHHHAHAHAHA – yoga? How in the hell?
I watch people put on makeup on the bus all the time. I marvel at it every single time.
this morning someone spat on me on the train
Yerk. It’s a tough call, but I’d say the toenails are the worst.
One night I was coming home from a bachelorette party on the train. It was late-ish and I was stone cold sober. But lots of other people on the train were not.
I saw (on the same train trip, so help me) a woman puking her guts out, a man mooning other passengers who dared walk through his train car, and a group of teenagers sitting on the train car floor doing something. I couldn’t tell if it was spin the bottle or ring around the rosie or something more sinister involving illegal substances.
During my normal train hours, I see nothing like this. No more riding the train after dark, I say!!
I love Real Simple.
The worst for me was a woman who was about to change her daughers stinky diaper on the El. We were getting off as she began!
Well, if I took public transportation more than a couple times a year, I might have some interesting stories. As it is, I can only tell you about asshole drivers on the road.
i’m definitely guilty of putting on makeup on the metro
not quite as intense a routine as your gal, but….
let’s see, i’ve seen a guy puke in a corner of the metro, puke down his jacket in the metro, puke in his mouth, then run out at the next stop on the metro… i’ve seen little kids monkey-barring through the metro cars holding onto the ceiling rails and kicking patrons in the head, while their parents laughed affectionately.. no diaper changing though, ick.
Wow. Yeah, that make-up routine seems pretty intense. You should have snapped a picture for us as a before and after situation.
The toenail thing skeeves me out.