My birthday was Saturday. It was a big one: the kind that end with a zero. I feel relatively unfazed by it, perhaps because I haven’t given it too much thought (busy at work, sister just had surgery, dear friend in personal crisis- too much going on to really fret over it). One thing that does make me uneasy about birthdays, however, is how they serve as a stark reminder for the various ways in which I sometimes suck at friendship.
I am truly surprised and sincerely grateful when people remember my birthday. I’m not picky about the medium- I love and appreciate cards, texts, and even facebook messages. But with each birthday wish that I receive, I feel a vague sense of panic as I run through my very fuzzy memories of the past year, trying to remember if I remembered to wish that person happy birthday when it was their special day. Too often, I’m afraid, the answer is “nope, I totally forgot.” And then I feel bad and berate myself for being such a disorganized loon.
I fear it says something sad about me that one of my primary feelings associated with receiving birthday wishes is guilt.
Oh Pseudostoops, you’re not as bad as you think you are. You’re a very thoughtful person who tries to do good by your friends. As we get older, birthdays matter less anyway. And I think I’m just saying that to excuse myself for not wishing you a happy day over the weekend despite your day being written in my calendar. Sigh. =)
I am the same damn way. With the guilt too.
I can relate to thw ehole guilt thing. I hope that you had a nice day amist all the best wishes!
i am the WORST at birthdays. i know my immediate family’s bdays, and about 3 friends (most of whom i’ve known over 15 years, giving me plenty of time to drill it into my thick skull). i’ve found that literally the only thing that helps me is to put everyone’s bdays in my outlook calendar as a recurring yearly event, with a reminder that pops up for me. otherwise i = useless.
also, happy birthday
Oh please. YOU bad at friendship? YOU who took a 45 minute train ride after work on a weekday to visit me on bedrest and bring me goodies only to turn around 90 minutes later to get back on the 45 minute train to be home before 11 p.m. so you could get up and go to work the next day?
You have nothing to worry about in regards to being a good friend, my dear.
What does it say about me (the person who always wishes people Happy Birthday, no matter if we’re close friends now or haven’t been for quite some time) when I contemplate not acknowledging their ‘special’ day because they never really make mention of mine?
Oh – I am the same way. I feel bad for all the birthday wishes I didn’t send…
Happy Birthday, however!
You know that part of your brain that remembers tons of useless trivia? Well, my brain remembers birthdays. And never, ever, forgets. May 1st? Christy Cascino. Havent seen her since 8th grade. But rest assured that while I may never forget your birthday, I will probably forget just about everything else. Including whether or not you remembered mine. (see! Cant remember!)
Happy belated to you.
I hate my birthdays, though not for any getting-old reasons and for the last few years refuse to tell people when my birthday is so I won’t have to deal with it. So, don’t worry about having forgotten to wish me a happy birthday, okay?