And also, TOTALLY HEAR YOU on the “I’m a responsible adult, no need to be embarrassed with this perfectly ordinary Life Purchase, and yet I am going to hide it.”

My stepsister wrote out a shopping list for my dad when he went to WalMart (a 45 mile trip away from our small hometown).

He asked her to put rubber bands on the list.

Once at the store, my papa couldn’t find something on the list and asked a store worker, a young woman, where the item was. He handed her the list. She told him.

Then, she said, “Oh, and condoms are down that aisle right there.”

My stepsister simply wrote “rubbers.”

My dad almost died of embarrassemnt. He called to tell me he felt like a dirty old man! Oh, I love that story.

And yours, too.

RULE.

When we were at BlogHer in SF 2 years ago, I had a jacket that would set off the alarm and the girl I was with had a wallet that would set it off. And we were so honest every time. And then finally we were like “damn for being so honest because we could totally steal anything from these stores with this fool-proof excuse!”