Dear Birmingham, Alabama: you are surprisingly hilly.  Substantially hillier than I expected.  Also: rainy. Remind me not to sign up for any marathons that take place in your fair city.

But for a wedding, the rolling hilliness of Birmingham is a perfect backdrop.  The rain cleared up right before the ceremony, leaving behind a perfect chilly clear fall day.  As the bride and we bridesmaids were taking pictures, a group of trick or treaters walked by, and we took a bunch of pictures with little girls dressed as witches and fairies and Hannah Montana.  It was hard to tell who was most tickled: the wedding party, the trick or treaters who got to feel special taking pictures with the bride, or their mothers who caught the whole thing on their cameras.

All in all: a lovely, joy-filled, happy wedding.  It was my first experience as a bridesmaid, and I think I did a pretty good job.  I buttoned difficult wedding dress buttons, I mended hems, I brought Swedish Fish into the bridal preparation suite.  Really, what more could I do? Now the happy bride and groom are off in Peru, and the rest of us are back to Chicago, where it is cold and not hilly, thinking fondly of Halloween weddings with costume party rehearsal dinners and bright, bright orange shoes.

Now, as happened the last time I went to a wedding in a non-local place, I have some questions.  Specifically, questions about Alabama:

• Are vegetables prohibited, or merely discouraged?
• The wedding emcee insisted that toasts at the reception aren’t a tradition in the South.  I call bullshit.  Southerners: is this really true?  I mean, no one likes a trainwreck wedding toast, but it doesn’t really feel like a wedding unless there’s SOME talk of the couple, toasting, wishing them well, etc.
• What is the average age of a couple getting married in Presbyterian churches in Alabama?  Because the church’s wedding coordinator lady insisted on treating us like we were 19, and it was kind of tiresome.  Example:  “you girls can pray beforehand if you want, but you’ll need to find a responsible older woman to lead you in the prayer.”  News flash: bride and all bridesmaids were in their 30s.  Really?  We can’t pray on our own?  I’m not super-churchy, but I thought one of the tenants of Protestantism was that everyone can pray.  Right?