I know it sounds cold, but there are people (like me) out there who are desperately scraping together enough for rent each month who would be fully focused at a temp job and it’s not fair.

I think you should pat her on the shoulder and say something like, “This is such a difficult situation, I’m keeping you and your dad in my thoughts. Sorry – gotta get back to work before El Jefe yells.” Then walk away. If you say that before she gets too far into her twice-daily update on the situation it should go okay.

P.S. I also think your boss should call her temp agency and let them know that she’s a great secretary (if she is) but her father is dying and she’s taking it pretty hard and may need some personal time next week. Maybe she can’t afford to take time off so that may be really screwing her, I don’t know. But the way she’s behaving at work is outrageously inappropriate.

You hate me now, I know.

I think like NGS said, you could avoid since she isn’t your secretary and she won’t be there much longer.

Or on the other hand, since she won’t be there much longer, you could just listen and know that it won’t be like this for months on end.

I’d imagine she probably doesn’t have a lot of people to talk to about it, hence why she’s telling you. And she probably just wants to talk and get it out. So just listening would be fine.

Tough one, my friend. I’d be avoidy avoidy person. Just try not to be around her. I don’t know how possible that is (she’s your secretary), but…avoid, avoid, avoid. Eyes on work, you’re never going to see her again, you’ve already been more than kind.

But I’m cold-hearted, I think.

If this were the regular secretary, I’d probably start pushing her compassionately to take some time off. Since she’s a relief secretary just for this week, I’d try to avoid her for most of the day and then let her talk to me a bit at lunch or at the very end of the day, and I’d be really relieved it wasn’t going to be an ongoing thing.

It reminds me when I attended the funeral of a very good friend’s father. He was only in his 60s when he passed away (her mother passed away when she was a child). I overheard someone telling her that her dad’s work *here* was done. He saw her brother settle down with a beautiful woman and they were pregnant with their first child. He saw his daughter (my friend) be successful at work and be preparing for her own wedding. This person told her all the pieces were in place and it was ok to let go (even though, his death was sudden).

I found comfort in those words. Even from a spiritual, not very religious stance. I’m not even sure if those words (or a version of them) are appropriate for your situation, but I wanted to share that with you.