In order to maximize our relatively short long-weekend vacation, we elected to take a very early flight out on Friday morning. As in, 5:45 in the a.m. I can only conclude that when we made this plan, we had not fully calculated that because we were flying internationally, this would require us to be in a taxi at 3:45 in the morning. Also called: the dead of night, a time when no sane person is awake, prime zombie-hunting hours, etc.
We stumbled downstairs, bleary-eyed and woozy on lack of sleep, to get into the cab. I walked around back to the trunk to put my bag in and the driver was futzing around back there, apparently trying to make room for our bags? But not really clear? Because it seemed like there was plenty of room already?
“Just drop it on the ground,” he said to me. “I’ll do it.”
The ground being wet, I decided to just hang on to it until he was ready.
“Just put it on the GROUND,” he barked again. (Apparently he’s not a dead-of-night person.)
“I’d rather not, since the ground is WET,” I barked back. (Apparently neither am I.)
We got the bags into the cab, installed ourselves in the back seat, and set out for the airport. Normally at this time of night I’d conk out in the car immediately, but after a few minutes I started to feel kind of seasick. The cabbie appeared to have learned to drive by watching old black and white movies- you know the kind, where they put the two main characters in a car, and run a film reel of a road behind them, and then have the man (it’s always the man driving) constantly move the wheel back and forth a few inches to let you, the viewer, know that he is obviously driving, not sitting in a non-moving set piece on a Hollywood back lot somewhere? The car kept drifting back and forth, back and forth as the cabbie corrected and overcorrected and corrected some more, never really staying in his lane.
About halfway to the airport, as the cab swerved dramatically to avoid running into a guardrail in front of an overpass, it hit me:
This cab driver is not tired. He is drunk.
You want to know what really wakes you up at 4 in the morning? Realizing that you and your husband are sitting powerless in the rickety back seat of a dilapidated cab with no seat belts being driven by a man who is honest to god intoxicated.
For the next twenty minutes John and I held hands, vice-grip-style, as the driver careened along the freeway, straddling two lanes as cars swerved around us, honking. It was all very “Jesus Take The Wheel.”
We made it there safely, thankfully. After we got out, John and I asked ourselves what we could have done differently. Making him pull over and having us get out of the car would have been impractical on the freeway. At the very least we should have gotten his cab number so we could report him, but we were so stunned that we didn’t even think of it until it was too late.
What a horrific situation. Seriously. I think the only thing you can be thankful for is that it was 3:45 in the morning and very few other people were on the road. Thank goodness you’re alright. Now, what about the fun post, complete with pretty photos of the beach???
Balls.
That story made me partly laugh (Jesus Take the Wheel. Heh.) and partly feel shivery–because what COULD you have done?
At least you know why he was so surly on the suitcase-front.
Oh, holy shit. I would have been terrified. I don’t know what I would have done. Freeway? You can’t get out there.
I agree with Nilsa, at least it was the dead of night, after the bars had closed so there wasn’t too much traffic. Oh, man.
That is horrible. Do you know the cab company you used? You might be able to call and let them know that one of their drivers was drunk.
I am so glad you guys are ok.
OH. MY. GOSH. that’s… horrifying. i don’t know what i would have done in that situation either – and at 3:45, i definitely would have been too tired to remember to take his name badge #. EEK. glad you were ok. now for pretty beach pictures?
I can’t believe that someone whose sole duty at work is driving would show up inebriated – I’m so sorry you had to go through this….what a frightful experience. I’m sure getting out on the freeway would have been just as dangerous…I’m glad you’re both okay. Did you report him after you got out?
OMG ACK!
Wow, that is a scary experience. It is hard to contemplate what you could have done.
Jesus Christ! I’m so glad you’re OK!
Oh. My. I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know what I would have done either. Actually, I do. I would have done the same as you, PRAYING that without much traffic, I would get there as safe as possible.
CRAZY! I’m glad you guys weren’t hurt!
Holy Crap on a Cracker! I don’t know what you could have done better either. Glad everyone is okay. Can’t wait to hear about your trip!
Shit man. Yes it made me laugh when you were all Jesus Take The Wheel but that is a terrifying post.
Of course now, at my desk around 1:00 in the afternoon I’m all “You could have called the cops from the back seat to pull you over! You could have called the company from the back seat to complain!” But all these things have consequences of course:
Would the guy have heard you call the cops and become enraged? Would he have run from the police or pulled over nicely? Would you have missed your plane?
I’m just so glad you’re both okay. Now tell me, did you tip him?
What a horrifying story! SO glad you guys were alright!