I don’t really do diets.  I seem to only have two modes when I’m “dieting”: not good at it at all and beating myself up about it, or way too good at it let it take over my thoughts and my life.  Neither of these is a particularly good state of mind, so I try to avoid it entirely.

I do, however, occasionally make and enforce silly rules to try to make sure my pants still fit.  Because the only thing I hate more than diets is the mall.  I’ll cut out all drinks except water, or give up candy for lent, or go vegan for a few days- something random that feels like a fun short-term challenge rather than a diet, but still helps keep the pants-fitting on track.  So a few weeks ago, after a few weeks of too many burgers and beers, I decided it was time to Get Serious.  I would limit myself to one dessert a day, and I would not bake any treats for a month.  (I know, I’m so hard core, right?  I read about people doing Atkins or the caveman diet or what have you and I just marvel at them because MAN I do not have that kind of willpower.)

There was a reason for this: I have a couple of fancy events to go to in the upcoming weeks, and the fancy dress that I currently own was bought during what must have been a post-stomach-flu period or something because it is snug.  Very snug.  Not everywhere, just in the tummular region.  And I refuse to buy a new dress.  So! Month-long baking hiatus!

But then, this organization I’ve been meaning to volunteer with for months sent an email, begging people to sign up for their spring bake sale.  “We have too few participants!” they wailed.  “The sale will fail! Please help us!”

So I relented.  Over the weekend, I baked three dozen of the most delicious chocolate chip cookies in all the land.  I wrapped them up nicely in tupperware and made my little index card describing them for the bake sale table.  I had them all ready to go, and was just waiting for instructions from the organizer about where to send them.

Some of you have already heard the punchline of this story, and the rest of you can guess it.  I heard nothing.  I sent the organizer an email Sunday night asking where I should take them.  Radio silence.  At 4pm yesterday, 6 hours after the sale was supposed to start, I got an email: “I’ve had a slightly sore throat so I’ve been resting.  We didn’t have enough people for the bake sale, maybe we’ll try again in a few months.”

And that was it.  No apology, nothing.  Which I find kind of remarkable.  New person volunteers to help your organization after you plead with her to do so, then you cancel the event without telling her and don’t even bother to apologize?  You can bet that when they finally reschedule the bake sale, I won’t be rushing to help out.

Meanwhile, I have three dozen cookies in my house, taunting me with their delicious craggy tops and dark chocolate chips.  This does not bode well for my “fit into my outfit” plans.  I should probably go buy some Spanx.