pseudostoops

I’ve been to weddings each of the past two weekends.  They were about as different from one another as two weddings in the Christian tradition can be.  First wedding was a black tie affair, full Catholic mass, oldest church in Chicago, fancy reception at fancy club with live band and steak and a full open bar and a photo booth.  Second wedding was outdoors, a mix of secular and sacred with such tidbits as a water ceremony and a kazoo parade, dinner in an unairconditioned but beautiful old university building, group singalong, several guests wearing Tevas.  Different, is what I’m saying.

John and I have been to a lot of weddings in the past 16 months- these were numbers 12 and 13 – so I consider myself somewhat an expert on the genre at this point.  And both of these weddings, different as they were, were really honestly perfect for the couples they married.  That’s so cool, right?  That you can have this ceremony that is such a huge and life-changing thing, surrounded by your friends and family, and it’s virtually infinitely customizable to fit your particular personality and style?  I love that.

The experience of attending the wedding last weekend was a little different than most because I went without a date.  John’s baby brother’s high school graduation was the same weekend as the wedding of my sister’s best friend (my sister was maid of honor – did you catch all that?)  So John and I decided to divide and conquer – he to the graduation, I to the wedding.

Going to a wedding solo when you’re not single is a really different experience than going to a wedding when you’re single.  Going to a wedding solo when you’re single carries endless possibilities- many drinks and wacky dancing and potential hijinks with single friends of the groom, that kind of thing.  Flying solo at a wedding as a married person can just be kind of sad- everyone else gets up to dance and you head off to the bar to get yourself another diet coke, because you’re old now and can’t pound gin and tonics like you used to.

So it was with some trepidation that I picked up the card that told me my seating assignment.  Sure enough, I was seated at a table of odds and ends -  my parents, the bride’s boss and his wife, the parents of two other bridesmaids and one other solo married person, Sarah, who works with the bride and whose husband couldn’t come because he got last-minute tickets to the World Cup.

Rounding out the table was Patrick, the twenty-year old son of the bride’s boss, who had Bieber hair and whose button down was about three sizes too big.  Oh, and a red and gold striped tie that looked like it should have been worn by a character in School Ties.  When Sarah told him that his tie looked like it was from School Ties, he looked at her blankly and asked “what is that?” And then he swirled his Bieber hair while she and I died of old age.

Sarah knew Patrick from working with his dad for years, and it turned out she had invited him to come as her “date” when her husband flew off to South Africa at the last minute.  He told me excitedly that Sarah and the bride were the first people to ever get him drunk when he was fifteen.  As the evening progressed, he told us about his frat, and his summer internship, and the girl he broke up with right before summer started because he just wanted to have fun.  He was, in short, entirely ridiculous and entirely adorable.  He was also, quite clearly, entirely in love with Sarah, which was a little awkward to watch.  Poor kid though Sarah hung the moon.

When the dancing portion of the evening started, we three sad sack solo acts sat at our table, watching everyone else (including my parents, known paragons of rhythm) hit the floor and start rocking out.  Finally, Sarah suggested we all make the best of it, and we got up to dance together.  This is how I ended up spending the better part of the evening dancing noncommittally with a person who had to use a fake id to get the bartender to serve him Jack and Cokes.

As the band took a break and we returned to the table, Patrick pulled out his phone.  “I wrote about you guys on my facebook!” he said, as he showed us the page.  His status update read: “bagged two cougars in one night.  Awwwww, yeah.”

AND THEN I DIED.  The end.

I wrote a few weeks ago about one of my current favorite songs, and it got me thinking about the wide variety of songs that have held the title of “favorite” in my heart over the years.  I have had phases where certain songs burn hot and bright and I listen to them on repeat until the cassette breaks or the cd scratches or the spouse begs to please put something, anything else on the ipod.  Some have been a slower burn, a deep affection that makes me smile with pleasure any time it comes on the radio, even years later.  And some are just embarrassing, but what is this space for if not to embarrass myself?

Here, then, a partial list of songs that have spent some time on repeat on my boom boxes, discmans, and ipods over the years:

1985 (ish): Morning Has Broken, Cat Stevens.  My first favorite song.  My dad and I would listen to it as we drove around in his late-70s Mercury Cougar.

1987: You Can Call Me Al, Paul Simon.

1989: Free Fallin’, Tom Petty.  My best friend introduced me to this song, having discovered it on the radio.  She had a radio in her room, people.  Her OWN RADIO.  I seethed with jealousy.

1991: American Pie, Don McLean.  I came back from three weeks at camp having memorized all the words, then made my parents play the song on repeat for weeks.  They must have loved that.  I still know every word by heart.  All eight minutes of them.

1992  Paradise City, Guns N Roses.  This one was a popular “fast” song at junior high school dances.

1993: Lady in Red, Chris DeBurgh.  Older, wiser, and in the 8th grade, I’d moved on to this junior high “slow dance” classic.

1996: A Long December, Counting Crows.  A boy I liked put this on a tape for me. Smooth.

1997: Romeo & Juliet, Dire Straits.  I still love this song beyond all reason.  It came on Pandora the other day while I was at work and I couldn’t help but sing along.  I think my officemate was afraid.

1998: Torn, Natalie Imbruglia.  Let us never speak of this again.

Later 1998: Philosophy, Ben Folds Five

1999: Closer to Fine, Indigo Girls.

2001: Tangerine, Big Head Todd and the Monsters.  A truly great cover.

2002: La Cienega Just Smiled, Ryan Adams.

2005: Music When the Lights Go Out, the Libertines

2006: More Adventurous, Rilo Kiley

2007: South Texas Girl, Lyle Lovett.  I first heard Lyle Lovett play this song at Ravinia, before it had been recorded, and I waited anxiously for months until he released it on an album so I could hear it again.  It’s that good.

2009: Casanova, Baby!, Gaslight Anthem.  Seriously, if you’re not listening to these guys, I highly suggest you start.

There are so many more- several per year, really- but these are some of the ones I played so many times I could sing them in my sleep.  I can’t be the only one who falls hard for songs like this.  Please tell me what some of yours are.  I need some new inspiration.

Like much of the country, we’ve had stunningly lovely weather for the past couple days.  I fell in love with the city a dozen small ways Wednesday night.  The guy grilling on the steps down to his garden apartment on his tiny tailgate grill; the man playing beautiful classical guitar on his balcony; the dad and his three kids playing joyous, chaotic kickball on the sidewalk — everyone in the city seemingly waking up from a long slumber.  We’ve had it comparatively easy this winter, with no huge snowstorms or 100-year rains, but it still felt LONG, and these balmy evenings so early in the spring feel like a gift.

To take advantage of what I’m sure will be a short-lived breath of summer, I decided to run home from work last night.  It’s about seven and a half miles, a distance that would have been no big deal for me when I was training for the half marathon a few short weeks ago.  But something about running in 80 degree humidity is a LOT HARDER than running in thirty degree cool, and HOLY GOD that was a hard run.

My ipod was not helping.  I recently had a snafu with updating software, so none of my playlists were on it.  I figured I’d choose a super-peppy workout song and generate a genius playlist based on that, and that would carry me through the run.  So I queued up “Toxic” by Britney and hit the road.

Dude, you guys, my ipod was totally fucking with me.  In case you’re unfamiliar with the classic that is “Toxic,” allow me to refresh your memory:

Good workout song, right?  Now, behold, a sampling of the songs that the so-called “genius” playlist maker added to a list based on “Toxic”:

• Delicate, Damien Rice
• Ice Cream, Sarah McLachan
• Orange Sky, Alexi Murdoch
• 3×5, John Mayer
• What if You, Joshua Radin
• The Only Freaking Living Boy in New York, Simon and Garfunkel I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING
  

Seriously, ipod?  SERIOUSLY?  By the end of the run I was ready to sit moodily in a cafe with an espresso, penning angsty poetry.  Or, you know, stick my head in an oven.  Not so much running music.  Lesson learned: before I run again, I’ll make sure my playlists are uploaded.

In order to maximize our relatively short long-weekend vacation, we elected to take a very early flight out on Friday morning.  As in, 5:45 in the a.m.  I can only conclude that when we made this plan, we had not fully calculated that because we were flying internationally, this would require us to be in a taxi at 3:45 in the morning.  Also called: the dead of night, a time when no sane person is awake, prime zombie-hunting hours, etc.

We stumbled downstairs, bleary-eyed and woozy on lack of sleep,  to get into the cab.  I walked around back to the trunk to put my bag in and the driver was futzing around back there, apparently trying to make room for our bags?  But not really clear? Because it seemed like there was plenty of room already?

“Just drop it on the ground,” he said to me.  “I’ll do it.”

The ground being wet, I decided to just hang on to it until he was ready.

“Just put it on the GROUND,” he barked again.  (Apparently he’s not a dead-of-night person.)

“I’d rather not, since the ground is WET,” I barked back.  (Apparently neither am I.)

We got the bags into the cab, installed ourselves in the back seat, and set out for the airport.  Normally at this time of night I’d conk out in the car immediately, but after a few minutes I started to feel kind of seasick.  The cabbie appeared to have learned to drive by watching old black and white movies- you know the kind, where they put the two main characters in a car, and run a film reel of a road behind them, and then have the man (it’s always the man driving) constantly move the wheel back and forth a few inches to let you, the viewer, know that he is obviously driving, not sitting in a non-moving set piece on a Hollywood back lot somewhere?  The car kept drifting back and forth, back and forth as the cabbie corrected and overcorrected and corrected some more, never really staying in his lane.

About halfway to the airport, as the cab swerved dramatically to avoid running into a guardrail in front of an overpass, it hit me:

This cab driver is not tired.  He is drunk. 

You want to know what really wakes you up at 4 in the morning?  Realizing that you and your husband are sitting powerless in the rickety back seat of a dilapidated cab with no seat belts being driven by a man who is honest to god intoxicated.

For the next twenty minutes John and I held hands, vice-grip-style, as the driver careened along the freeway, straddling two lanes as cars swerved around us, honking.   It was all very “Jesus Take The Wheel.” 

We made it there safely, thankfully.  After we got out, John and I asked ourselves what we could have done differently.  Making him pull over and having us get out of the car would have been impractical on the freeway.   At the very least we should have gotten his cab number so we could report him, but we were so stunned that we didn’t even think of it until it was too late.

You know the old proverb  “pride goeth before a fall?”

I propose a modification.  Something along the lines of “smugness goeth before the universe hands your ass to you and laughs its ass off.”

Less than 24 hours after I wrote this nice post at LiveWell about how we can all be better stewards of the land through filtered water bottle usage, I got the following notice from our building:

Dear residents:

During construction today, a plumbing contractor discovered that a drinking water pipe may have inadvertently been crossed with another pipe not used for potable water.  He informed the City plumbing inspection department which came out today and inspected the plumbing.  They have taken samples of the water to determine the cause of the POSSIBLE contamination, and to ensure there is no danger to the rest of the water supply.

Unfortunately, we will not have water test results until tomorrow morning. It is recommended, therefore, that until further notice, no water be used for drinking or washing hands, body, or clothes, and that you only use water for toilet flushing.  It is also advised that you do not drink from any filtered water through your refrigerator or any filtering system attached to your faucet or use of carbon filters like Brita pitchers until we have the results from the test.  There is bottled water available for residents on the first floor by the management office.

Sincerely,

Management

That’s right, folks: less than a day after I wrote a superior-sounding post about the need for our society to rid ourselves of our addiction to disposable water bottles, John and I are now the proud owners of a dozen such bottles for drinking, hand washing, and teeth brushing.  And we have to shower at the gym.  Awesome!

The week ahead:

• Book club
• Charity event
• Dinner with a friend
• Speaking at a nonprofit
• Preparing 6 cases for work trip next week
• Flying to new Orleans for half marathon then straight to California for work trip

I have nervous tummy just looking at that list.  Send help.

I had something else ready to go for today, but things in Haiti are weighing heavily on my heart and mind, and I think I’ll save it for another time.

Things in Haiti were hard BEFORE the recent earthquake, and it’s hard to wrap my mind around how devastating the situation is there now.  And while I don’t have any easy answers or ready fixes, I’ll say this: I hope that the collective “we” can stretch our heads and hearts and imaginations to find a way to bring some hope and relief to all those affected, be they children or adults, Haitian or American.  And by “relief” I mean potable water. Food.  A way to get the pallets of relief supplies that have already arrived in the country from the tarmac in the Port Au Prince airport to the streets where people are, quite literally, dying for want of the food and water and medical treatment that is sitting there, waiting to be disbursed.

And then, eventually, a way out for those who have that option.

Once again, it was incredibly fun to do the comments-for-charity thing.  Thanks to all of you who left comments, The Women’s Treatment Center, Sweet Miss Giving’s, and The Night Ministry all received donations of more than $50 on the last day of 2009 (just in time to be included in this year’s books).  I also really enjoyed learning about some of your favorite charities- so for those of you who nominated an organization to be considered in the finalist poll, a big extra *mwah* to you!  Based on your votes in the finalist poll, Y0ung at Heart Pet Rescue, an organization that does the important work of helping “senior” pets find homes, also received a $50 donation from me.

It’s important to me to be able to spread the word about some of these great charities.  I would donate anyway, but I feel like donation + informing more people is even better.  So thanks for reading, for commenting, thanks to those of you who spread the word on your own blogs and on twitter.  This has become one of my favorite blog activities ever.  I’ll see you back here next year!

Happy New Year and a big sloppy hug from me,

pseudo

Well, everyone, this week was quieter on the internet than I had expected, but I’m delighted to see that we rallied and got some really good numbers for the hugely deserving organizations I featured Monday through Wednesday.

I’ve enjoyed reading about some of your favorite charities. There were a lot of really great organizations nominated! Below, you’ll find a brief description and a link to the five finalists, along with who nominated them. I’ll be taking votes from now through New Year’s Eve, and the organization that gets the most votes will receive a $50 donation. So get voting! And again, thank you all so much for playing along this week, and happy holidays.

1. The Valentino Achak Deng Foundation: Does community development work in Sudan (including building schools!), works with Sudanese folks in the U.S., and advocates on Sudan policy issues. Nominated by Marilyn.

2. Young at Heart Pet Rescue: Dedicated to the rescue and adoption of senior pets in the Chicago region. They help senior pets, who often are the first to get euthanized in shelters because they are the hardest to adopt. Nominated by Samantha.

3. Couch Potatoes for the Cure: Support Steph’s effort to raise money for gynecolocical cancer research and support the Campbell Family Institute at the Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto.

4. Northern Virginia Theraputic Riding Program: Provides theraputic horse back riding lessons for people with disabilities, youth-at-risk, and veterans. Horseback riding has been proven to be hugely beneficial to at-risk populations and people with disabilities. Nominated by Becs.

5. REACH LA: Trains low-income youth of color from Metropolitan Los Angeles, and empowers them with skills to develop innovative program initiatives that lead to social change in their own peer community. Nominated by Yvette.

This is a great group of organizations. Check them out, make your decision, and cast your vote!

Okay, team, it’s time to get serious.  By now, many of you know the drill:  I’m giving 50 cents per comment to a different charity every day this week.  Then, tomorrow, I’m going to choose five finalists from the charities that you all nominate in the comments, and will set up a poll to see what organization should get a final $50 donation.  Full explanation is here.

The Internet has been really quiet this week, and I am NOT EVEN CLOSE to the absolute maximum donation I’d established in my head.  So I’m still accepting comments on Monday’s and Tuesday’s posts.  That means, if you are just joining us, that you can donate $1.50 to charity, for free, just by commenting on all three posts.  (Monday here, Tuesday here.)  Please forward widely, link to this if you’re so inclined, twitter it, etc.  I really like the idea of a huge number of people learning something about these organizations, and the organizations getting some small-but-significant donations in return.

Today’s featured organization is The Night Ministry, which I also featured last year.

The Night Ministry is a non-denominational organization providing a variety of services to people living in poverty, particularly homeless youth and adults. They have, among other things, a traveling health bus that gives free medical care on a regular schedule to homeless folks in several Chicago neighborhoods. They provide meals and counseling and a consistent, friendly face for youth living on the streets, and help them get off the streets.

In their words:

The Night Ministry serves a wide range of individuals who share circumstances of poverty and the inability to afford and access essential services. No matter their age, mainstream society often ignores or casts aside those we serve. The more isolated a person is, the less likely they are to access services.

Among those we serve are:
- homeless and runaway youth
- homeless adults
- working poor adults
- uninsured and underinsured individuals seeking medical assistance
- individuals who lack access to or distrust of traditional systems of healthcare
- children living in public housing who need a place to gather in safety
- individuals struggling with substance abuse and mental illness
- the chronically lonely
- others who have “fallen through the cracks” of our social service system.

So, help ‘em out! Start commenting! Share widely! Nominate your own favorite charitable organiations!

And, as always, thanks.